


13. Kink-free

by Quefish



Series: Ineffable Kinktober 2020 [8]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Asexual Character, Beelzebub talks about their Sexe Life, Conversations, Dagon is Amused by Beelzebub's Sex Life, Dagon is Asexual, Ineffable Kinktober 2020, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:14:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26991235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quefish/pseuds/Quefish
Summary: Beelzebub is talking to Dagon about their sexcapades. Dagon is asexual.
Relationships: Beelzebub & Dagon (Good Omens)
Series: Ineffable Kinktober 2020 [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1959229
Comments: 6
Kudos: 31
Collections: Ineffable Kinktober 2020





	13. Kink-free

**Author's Note:**

> CW: Dagon is ace and explains it as it pertains to her. Beelzebub makes light of it in a friendly and sarcastic way, but not dismissively. Story ends on their sarcastic comment, but rest assured, they aren't being a bastard, and Dagon gets it. 
> 
> I, the writer, am fully aware that being ace is not a kink (considering I am on the ace spectrum), but the line made me laugh in knowing it is absolutely something Beelzebub would say.

“And then the idiot yelled about being righteous and not having one night standzz and stormed out.” Beelzebub was telling the story to Dagon, who was now holding her stomach she was laughing so hard.

“How you put up with that idiot is beyond me.” 

“He may be an idiot, but once told what to do, he takes to it easily. For being a self-righteous prick, he’s pro at taking direction.” Beelzebub winked at Dagon who rolled her eyes.

“Of course he is. I’ve seen Earth files. The ones who have the most power tend to want to shut off once in a while and let someone else take control. Making decisions all day, not sure if they are right … they know they are doing right for once.” Dagon leaned back, putting a boot on the side of Beelzebub’s desk, leaning back in her chair slightly.

“I’d never want to do that. Let someone else have control? I mean, I’m glad he does, it’d be hopeless otherwise. I mean, all that dick and no idea how to use it.” Beelzebub put their feet on the desk, smudging some paperwork.

Dagon shuddered with a disgusted gurgle. “I don’t mind hearing about you having sex, but can I not have to hear about fuck-feather’s dick?”

“Yeah, alright.” Beelzebub looked at Dagon curiously. “You know, that brings up a good point. I keep telling you about everything I get up to. Bondage, paddles, wax … what do you get up to?”

“Me?” Dagon looked a little surprised at the question. “I don’t get up to anything.”

“Oh come on, I’ve seen you talking to the Eric’s all conspiratorily. You can’t tell me you don’t get some Eric on Dagon action sometimes. Or even more than one Eric. How many can he make at once?” Beelzebub leered, and had a moment of picturing more than one Gabriel, wondering if they’d be able to handle that much. What were they thinking, of course they could. They smirked and looked back to Dagon.

“I have no idea, there always seems to be one around every corner, doesn’t there.” Dagon looked thoughtful. “As for the ‘action’, not something that interests me.”

“What, never? Or just not recently. Have a bad run-in with one of those spiky-cocked demons?”

“Nope, never crossed my mind really. I’ve seen it, of course, read reports from Earth, but as for me, never felt the need or want. Humans call it ‘asexual’. Lots of ways to be asexual, but for me, I don’t want it, indifferent, interested only as anecdotal conversation. And I really like being that way, makes me happy, satisfying.”

Beelzebub chuckled and gave Dagon a sly side-eye. “You get satisfaction from not having szzex?! Damn, that is a hell of a kink.”


End file.
